DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING
are the three most stressful experiences in life. There are
two very different kinds of needs that people have while moving.
First there are the transactional needs, like finding the
home that is just right for them, finding a seller who is
realistic, negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork,
handling the escrow, and arranging for the move. But there
are also emotional needs that are involved when moving, and
this is where the biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent
will handle the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional
needs are unfulfilled, you'll be frustrated and may not act
in your own best interests. The ideal real estate agent is
one, who is competent with paperwork and numbers, but can
also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional
ups and downs of moving. Here are the six best ways we've
found to beat the stress.
1. Begin with the end in mind.
Have an ultimate scenario of where you're trying to be. What
will life be like when you get there? How will it be better
than where you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it
out, fill up at least a page about how it feels in the new
place. This is imperative. Having the goal in front of you
at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks
and frustrations. Emotions will run high and you need an anchor.
You too must focus on that future goal when anxiety threatens
to get the better of you.
2. Be flexible.
In your monetary calculations, overestimate by a thousand
dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract
acceptance and closing. It could be the inspections reveal
areas of concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or the
repair costs are higher than the amount limited in the contract.
Or the interest rate changes which effects the necessary down
payment and closing costs you will need to come up with. As
your real estate team, we will strive to tie up loose ends
as quickly as possible, but remember there is no perfect world.
Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new mortgage
and the responsibilities of a new home. We've seen many buyers
get angry when it seems like the cost just keeps going up.
Anger is caused when reality doesn't match up with the expectations
you had in your mind. So if you anticipate this happening
in advance, you won't get angry. In fact, it'll probably go
better than you expected.
3. Trust in the process.
There's just so much to do, it's easy to panic. You wonder
if it will ever work out. In fact, when we bought our house,
we couldn't eat for a day, we felt sick to our stomachs! You
think you're taking a big chance, but the truth is you're
giving yourself a big chance. Even though you can't see every
step of the way, as you move towards your goals, the way opens
up. We know that you haven't moved in a long time and it's
a major upheaval in your life. But we've been there many times
before, and we'll be looking out for you. Trust that we know
the way to get you there.
4. Get knowledge.
One thing you'll probably feel during this transition time
is being out of control. It feels like everyone else has taken
over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the
inspectors, they all have the power to say yes or no to your
moving plans. We'll try our best to let you know ahead of
time what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are.
We'll tie down the loose ends as soon as possible. We'll try
to get your loan approved within a reasonable time frame.
We'll educate you as best we can and let you in "behind the
scenes" so you won't ever feel stupid or out of control.
5. What is your option?
When things don't go as smoothly as you had hoped, don't let
emotions take over. Always ask yourself "What is my option?"
because there are always options. Let's pretend the lender
takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking
you for more and more documentation until it feels like he
also needs to know how many gold fillings you have in your
mouth! You feel upset because you wanted to feel certain about
the move and now you still have to live with the uncertainty.
You want to say "Forget it, I'm fed up with this!" But what
is your option? Find a new lender and start the process over
again? That may take weeks, plus you will have to provide
all the paperwork all over again. If the lender is trying
his best, it may be better to give him a few more days. Each
case is unique, but when setbacks occur we've found that asking
yourself this question helps to defuse the situation and restore
clear headed thinking.
6. Seek entertainment.
When there's nothing you can do about the situation, take
your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval
on Friday, but now it won't come until Monday. You hate being
in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something else entirely,
maybe something where you aren't powerless. Take a hike, play
tennis, get out of town for the day, watch a movie, pray,
or pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion works
best for you, now would be a good time to engage in it. Just
forget the situation and refuse to listen to those irritating
thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something
else instead and just take it one day at a time. To keep stress
to a minimum, here's how we'll serve you when you work with
us in buying your new home: a) we promise not to take your
business for granted, b) we will inform you of your options
c) we will give you our best-reasoned expert counsel and advice
with your best interests in mind, d) we will clarify your
goals and motivation, so that you can decide if moving is
the wisest choice at this time. e) we will provide recommendations
and information to help your kids through all the changes
f) we will negotiate effectively for you to get the lowest
possible price for your new home g) we will protect your interests
during escrow, keeping a detailed record of the transaction
h) we will be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve
when the stress is overwhelming i) we will counsel you through
the feelings of "buyer's remorse" j) we will alert you ahead
of time to every possibility so you feel more in control k)
we will contact you daily during the last 10 days of the transaction
to serve your needs l) we will continue to give you information
of value after the transaction... for life.
Katherine Prinzivalli, Realtor
Coldwell Banker Coon & McCreary
(925)754-7400 x170
E-Mail:
kprinzivalli@Homes4EastBay.com |
